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Friday, March 9, 2012

9th March 2012

I'm in my last teenage year. It fills me with depression every time I remember. For the first time in my life, my conversations with my brother over girls actually make a bit of sense. We can relate better these days.  No one likes being made to feel old (It's a scary thing). As I watch my brother grow, it reminds me of when I was in a similar position. The mistakes I made, things I should have done that I didn't and some 'What the hell was I thinking' moments. I try to guide him but then, he seems bent on doing things in a way that pleases him best. We might not agree but I guess with hindsight, he'll learn from his mistakes.

As I dread my turning 20, I reflect on my life journey thus far. I happen to be in a good place right now and it seems things are moving in the right direction. And it seems I'm at a very humble phase. And it makes me feel and understand the importance of being modest and meek in instances when  I would be guilty of wallowing in self praise and excessive self pride.

I love a particular rapper who seems to think he's God's gift to humanity. As a bit on my blog suggests, I wanted to tread his path and earn the right to be cocky. But now I think about it, that's wrong. Who gave me the right to think i'm the greatest thing to walk the earth? Everything I am stems from one person only: God and it's only appropriate I do my best to live in his image and stay grounded. I thank him for where I am but then again, I'm not anywhere near where I aspire. Of what sense would it be if I started believing my own hype and laxed. It'll make more sense to stay humble and continue on the right path which would eventually lead to something great by his grace. I really do hope this phase stays and becomes a big part of the person I'm intent on becoming.


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