Over the past days I've been a bit cranky. It's strange 'cos there have been events I should be happy about but I still find a way to lose myself in my endless self questioning and . In all this, one thing has stood out: the amount of love I have for my mother.
In my home, I'm the self anointed favorite son. Whilst it's very likely that this serves as another instance of me putting myself on an inexistent pedestal, it's something I believe to an extent. And it's not to say my mother doesn't love my brother as she does me.. It's just that there's this understanding we have. I can tell my Mum anything. Once, when I had trouble with the woman folk that brought me to tears (Don't laugh) she was the only one I could confide in. As we spoke on the phone, all I could do was cry whilst she reassured me all would be well. Confident that this would come to serve as her trademark joke at dinner and family outings (I deny it obviously) and something that'll probably cause my children, nephews and nieces to tease me I was still able to open up to her. That again captures her appeal to me. At the time, she'll shower you with love. The next day, she'll have resumed service cracking her silly jokes.
I remember some of the awesome things she's done for me. Helping me write my incomplete school notes at the end of every term (Yes! I'm spoilt like that). Waking me up in the middle of the night to drum French into my head in Primary School (I thought she was a witch at the time) and constantly going out of her way to make me happy. I guess that's what our parents are here for. To smooth our paths and put smiles on our faces even if they have to make sacrifices.
That's not to say, things have always been great. We've fallen out on
numerous occasions. In my last year in Corona particularly, more times than not. She
was genuinely worried I was going to flunk all my exams and didn't
hesitate to smack me with a ruler. My father never smacked us (He's the talking type) so she took it upon herself to balance things out in that regard. I used to have a terrible lying habit when I was younger and she never hesitated to remind me how "If you lie, you will steal. If you steal, they'll put tyre round your neck and burn you" whilst designing my body with slippers or whatever object she could lay hands on.
As I have grown older and limited the love I have for women to 'some people', I want to use this opportunity to tell my Mama how much she means to me and how she'll always be the first girl I fell in love with. (I honestly wish I could marry you)
Your Favorite Son.