Before the real deal starts I want to make two notices.
1. The title of this article means a lot to me because it is a perfect example of a pun. My very own made up pun. I go to school in Worcester (pronounced Wooster) and we call it The Woo.
2. If I mention a song and you haven’t heard it before, my recommendation is simple. LISTEN TO IT.
So here we go!
On the backdrop of Katharine McPhee and Andrea Bocelli’s ‘Can’t Help Falling In Love’ and Van Morrison’s ‘Into The Mystic’, I write this.
I want to be wooed. ‘Just like way back in the days of old and magnificently we will fold into the mystic’. I want someone to woo me. Make me weak at the knees and bring tears to my eyes and to the eyes of all the other girls who would be green with envy.
Of recent, I have declared my dissatisfaction with long distance relationships. Normally, LDRs have their beaucoup problems but none of those is my issue. Personally, I don’t want an LDR because then I can’t be wooed to my heart’s satisfaction. I have given many other reasons but that’s the real truth.
Some people might say that wooing/dating over a long distance is fine and can be done and I won’t argue with that. However, I refuse to have a guy who would woo me wonderfully over the internet/phone/bbm/skype and be completely inept at physical wooing.
I want someone to plan a day with me. Take me to New York/ Paris/ Zanzibar/ Istanbul and show me the sights. When the sun starts to set, take me to the top of a hill and we’ll have a picnic as we watch the sun go to sleep. When the moon’s full and in the sky, whisk me off to waltz with you somewhere under a sparkling chandelier and as the music starts to fade, look me in the eye and tell me I’m beautiful.
Guys everywhere should begin to groan at my dream. I mean who really has money to whisk me off anywhere? And even if you do, why should you? What about protection while we stroll around a city we don’t know at night. And the waltz? Really? Can I even waltz? Women. *angry face*. They ask for too much.
Let me even confess now. Everyone who has listened to Robbie William and Nicole Kidman’s ‘Something Stupid’, will understand when I say, the possibility of such a reaction is magnificently high. But I still want it to happen anyway. If the possibility of me saying no is even a chance, why would I still want to subject some poor guy to such?
I’ll tell you why. I want someone who is courageous and who is willing to take a risk. If you’re willing to take a risk and ask me out in a spectacular way without having an inkling of what I’m going to say, then I have faith in your ability to provide for me and our future family. Think of it this way. Why do male peacocks have such huge tail feathers when it increases their chances of being caught and eaten? Simple! The females require it!
But why should men do something that might be detrimental to them (in this case, detrimental to the size of their wallets)? Because men have most of the advantage in this world. Let us women have this one thing. This one chance to dominate. Men are generally stronger, faster, think they’re wiser and life is more often that not handed to them on a silver platter. At least a platter that is more silver than those handed to a girl of equal stature.
In this week’s episode of Gossip Girl, the one thing that caught my attention the most was something that I bet a lot of people missed. Chuck, looking simply stunning if I might add, got the dress that Princess Diana wore when she first became princess (or something like that) so that Blaire could wear it and take a picture with him and be his princess (aw anyone?). He had no assurance that she would wear it and take the picture with him but he did it anyway. And we wonder how Chuck can be so successful and keep getting up every time he’s pushed down.
So yes. I want to be wooed. I want to be wooed without asking to be wooed. I want a big surprise package on my birthday that’ll make me blush but regretfully have to return because it’s too much. I want to be offered shoes/ a dress/ jewelry and I’ll smile and say no. My refusals will not sting because he’ll know in his heart that every word and every gesture is all leading down the same path…straight into his arms. I’m just being poetic here. I mean he’ll know that I’ll gladly be his girlfriend (and maybe eventually wife, but who’s thinking that far?)
Of course some people might loudly disagree with me. I mean, isn’t this why we are fighting for equality for all? But *shrug* I still want to be wooed. Even if I was a lesbian, I would still want to be wooed. And besides who says wooing is only for guys?
To be continued…