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Saturday, November 13, 2010

Super Saturday #6: Dear Child

Dear Child,

Nothing I say can prepare you for this roller coaster journey also known as life. On some days your path shall be strewn with roses, on others weeds. It's filled with contradictions. Some people would make your sojourn here heaven on earth; others would remind you of Lucifer. This could help you in the sense that it would show you those who mean well for you whilst also ensuring you afford them their due respect.

Trust no one. Even I am not exempt from this principle. As humans, it's part of our DNA to disappoint. In all you do, especially your dealings with God's creatures, expect the worst as it would save you disappointment should the unexpected take place. However, this shouldn't stop you from loving everyone and acting with principles favoring equality and balance.

Fear no one and always do that which is right, regardless of the public perceptions attached.
Also, do not hesitate to speak your mind even if what you feel is unpopular. Your grandfather's book which you are familiar with is titled "The Popular is Seldom Correct". Just because everyone thinks something is right doesn't make it right. Always stay true to you. A saying that is quite sketchy to Daddy addresses this saying that those who danced were thought to be mad by those who couldn't hear the music. The greatest people are highly unusual characters so don't feel out of place if the world doesn't understand your ways.

Also, it is vital you realize that YOU are your greatest enemy. No one can make you feel anyway without your permission. Always embody confidence and humility in all you do.

My beloved, your grandfather always said "Life is about making decisions". Always keep this in mind whilst you journey the world. Don't be too scared to fail at anything you do. Always remember that life is like that annoying place you go to called school. Every episode comes with a lesson, so take the lesson and make use of it when the next life test or examination comes up. Daddy was never the most brilliant kid but he had a good heart and tried really hard at times although that was more the exception than the norm. If you strive to be better than Daddy, we shall be the best of friends. Even if you don't, I admit I will be disappointed but I shall come round as time passes and the wounds heal.

My love, always wear a smile. Don't be like your Grandmother and spend your time worrying over things you have no control over. Under the most extreme of circumstances, stay cool. You will always look back and have no regrets as you can be assured that nothing beats decisions made with a cool, clear head.

As you go on in life you shall discover yourself. Daddy has no qualms with any lines you would like to toe. That is, as long as your honesty and legitimacy are not compromised.

As you grow older, you shall discover those beautiful species you will come to know as the opposite sex. My son, have fun but ensure you don't deceive them. Treat them well for they shall treat you well (Don't be soft and let them have their way all the time). However, if you come home at 15 saying you have ‘pregnated’ a girl I shall not hesitate to throw you into the Bar Beach. Always carry a condom with you to ensure that you are safe should the unexpected happen. My daughter, keep your pride. If the boy can't stand your putting him on a long thing, he's not worth it. Also, while he's trying to get you, make him work very hard to earn your goodies. PLEASE, don't go around hitting your knees or sending topless pictures. My love, also remember that if he doesn't remind you of me then he's not an option. If he ever attempts to hit you, don't hesitate to slap him and kick his nuts.

My child(ren), whilst I don't want to make decisions for you, you have to fulfill some criteria to bear the surname. You have to give Kanye West's music a listen. You’re not allowed to support any football team that doesn't belong to the red and white part of North London. Also, be prepared to live a life filled with plenty of dodo. It's been the family staple for as long as I can remember. Also prepare to have your summer trips hanging on the coattails of reviewing in detail Shakespeare's work. The quicker you familiarize with the English language, the better for you.

My loved ones keep in mind your silly Uncle Tomi and his misplaced ideology that he's God's gift to humanity. Make sure you never hesitate to insult and bully your cousins, his children. Also, remember that as far as they are concerned, everything between you and them is competition. Disturb and annoy them the way their father annoys(ed) me in our younger years.

With all my love,


  1. Haha...this is nice :)

  2. Haha!I like this Mayowa.

  3. Great stuff Mayowa. I pray your children follow this letter because this is exactly what I'd want to teach mine. Lovely post.

  4. Mayowa, any child would be blessed to read this, lol. I like the pics too.

  5. i like, my only qualms (for me o!) is the do not trust anybody part..i think i'l be greatly unhappy if my child or any one i love goes through life trusting no one

  6. Well thought out, and hit at the core..."My love, also remember that if he doesn't remind you of me then he's not an option. If he ever attempts to hit you, don't hesitate to slap him and kick his nuts."

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