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Monday, July 26, 2010

Dear Child

This is a letter that I initially wrote in my head to my future child/children. Enjoy but you may not plaigarise hehe.

My darling child,
I love you but I cannot say the same for the world. I’m not even just talking about the people in the world but everything that you can ever imagine constituting YOUR world. So that’s us (your family), them (your friends), those (your feelings and emotions) and the ONE (love).

Once you hit your teens, the word love begins to change its meaning. Before it was about how you loved your family, your favorite shows, and your favorite toys. In your teens it will metamorphosis. I don’t want to define your metamorphosis for you now because I don’t want to limit it but I’ve got to tell you, it won’t hit you; it will sneak up on you like a thief in the night. One day you will wake up all aglow and floaty (or maybe with a hidden smile behind that fa├žade) and realize the change has begun.

Now my dear I have to warn you, love is not all flowers and joy. In fact it really is a bed of roses; underneath all that pretty are the thorns. Like everything else in this world the way you love is on a spectrum hence there is no black or white but lots of shades of grey. You could be one of those who loves with everything they have, one of those who don’t love at all or one of the many in between. I want to tell you about the extremes and give you the pros and cons and let you decide to what extent you want to be of either of them.

On this side weighing in at a hundred percent in love are the ones who love. They leave their hearts completely open and are always in love. People like this have no problem dishing out all their love and can achieve high degrees of happiness, often tending towards ecstasy. They are also the ones who suffer from serious depressions caused by a break up or the death of a loved one and can tend towards psychotic behaviors when their love is not returned in full. At this end of the spectrum one is able to fall in love easily, hardly fall out of love and when they do it becomes full on hatred and they can often be found being in love with more than one person at a time. Their happiness is often a function of the happiness and satisfaction of their partners. If they cheat they usually suffer serious bouts of guilt or end up falling completely in love with the ‘other’ person.

On the other side weighing in at a zero percent love are the ones who refuse to love. They close their hearts completely and surround it with a seven feet concrete wall, a moat full of crocodiles and with only one entrance guarded by orcs from Lord of the Rings. They insist on never loving anyone not even those closest to them and never achieve happiness however they also never suffer from depression even on the death of the closest person to them. They are very logical and never jump into any sort of relationship without knowing what the advantage will be for them. These ones are never in love and only enter relationships for what can be gotten out of them. They have no reason to cheat because they have no problems breaking up but if they do cheat it comes without an apology and no regret.

Now darling child I will not lie to you and tell you that you can choose where on the spectrum you lie; I’m not sure how it works. All I can tell you is that you need to understand what kind of love you possess and make the best of it and never NEVER try to change your position on the love spectrum. It always ends up putting you in emotional debt. Either you’ve given more than you were originally made to handle and gone into the minuses or you’ve taken more than you were originally made to receive and you’ve gone into the red. By then no one can help you, not even me. That’s all I have for now. Remember nobody knows it all, not even me.


  1. Generally a good piece but I came across a 'typo' in the second paragraph, 3rd line -- it should be metamorphose not metamorphosis.

  2. Indeed its a typo but its only the 'e' at the end that was missing to change it from a noun to a verb. Thanks though

  3. I beg to disagree with you as 'metamorphosise' does not exist. But let us not drift away from the central idea -- it is a good piece :).

  4. Nice one Mayowa. Love where u say "It always ends up putting you in emotional debt." Very well said!
    Cindy Ihua


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