So recently there was a HUGE ruckus at school (a story for another time) and it effectively divided my class into two; those who ‘committed the crime’ and those who didn’t. So imagine this, two camps of people; those who think they did no wrong and those who either think something wrong was done or just don’t care. To make matters worse, it was a girl thing. Let me tell you boys, girls know how to keep malice and all that. Our brains are perfectly tuned to the act of holding unto anger and spite. Some people might think it’s not such a bad thing but I find it very hard to see what good it does. So this ruckus made some very uncertain groups band together in their ‘victimised’ group and turn against any and all that was not in the group. I have never seen friendships fall so hard. In fact some friendships became the proverbial Humpty Dumpty that couldn’t be put back together. AHA! Some people said, now I’ve found my true friends but I have never seen anything so false. They had just closed their eyes to their true friendships and forged a new, fragile one. Fragile I say because this was a group made up of ‘enemies’ but you know how it is; as the saying goes ‘my enemy is my friend as long as we share a common enemy.’ So for the time being these ‘friends’ banded together and closed off their true friends. Just on a side note it wasn’t everybody because some people were smart. So my biggest learnings from this kind of ruckus on friendship I decided to share.
1. NEVER and I repeat, NEVER go to bed angry at a friend. It works for boy-girl relationships so why not for friend relations? If you are upset at a friend because of what you think they did or said, confront them ASAP. Don’t hold it in and allow it to fester because it just might not be true.
2. Don’t avoid or ignore a friend for more than a day. Especially if she is a girl. How do you think you’re going to start talking to them again? It’s going to be very hard! Very hard indeed! I understand you’re need to cool off but seriously it’s a bad idea and I’m speaking from experience.
3. Trust. Just that one word is very important in friendships. Trust you’re friend, defend them, don’t believe other people until you it hear it from them. Getting angry over something someone else told you puts a friendship at jeopardy. Don’t do it! Someone is telling you you’re friend did something, walk away! No matter how angelic that person is, at that point the person is sitting on your shoulder in a red outfit with horns and a trident.
4. When your friend says they understand, they really do. They are not just saying it (ok maybe sometimes but not when it’s important). Maybe not to the same degree as you but they feel your pain which is precisely why while you are in love with that boy/girl, they remember every horrible thing done or said to you and hate him/her for putting you through shit.
Ladies and gentlemen, you might not believe me now but you need your friends more than you need a partner because when you guys break up, the shoulder to cry on will still be there. Friends are truly special and a true friend is a present. A pure, unadultered, mint condition, collector’s item. Don’t sell your true friends for when you need them most, you’ll realise that they are priceless and can’t be bought back.