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Friday, February 5, 2010

Umaru Where Art Thou? (A Letter to the President) I know it's overbeaten but I had to do something on it.

The last time I checked you were the shepherd to over 120 million sheep. The last time I checked you left the sheep in your care to go astray without warning and there are little or no signs of your impending return. What type of shepherd are you? What type of shepherd makes a million promises to his sheep and hesitates to keep them? I guess one like you Umaru. Pardon me for calling you by your name but you have given me no reason to respect you hence I will address you as I please. Have you seen the ordeal your sheep have had to go through since you left them? Our foreign affairs ministry is probably going through one of it’s most challenging phases as a result of your inability to tell us “ Dear sheep, I shall be going away for some time but I have appointed my assistant shepherd Goodluck to take good care of you. Let’s hope for the best. Good luck to you and Goodluck. Hopefully you will enjoy each other.” That brings me to the issue of Muttalab. Do you know what happened? I’m guessing you don’t. The fact that this was probably the biggest piece of news at the end of the year and it concerns your fellow Katsina kinsman and there has been no effort from you to dispel the misguided notion that Nigerians are terrorists suggests that you owe us plenty of explanations upon your return. Some people are saying you are dead but as I am yet to see your corpse I refuse to succumb to such deception. A newspaper said you are brain dead but as there is no concrete proof I am at a loss on what to believe. They also said only three Nigerians are fully aware of your medical condition. So all those politicians that have been running to Saudi Arabia with possibly taxpayers funds what did they do? As I am aware that you are not in the best of conditions right now I wouldn’t like to stress you too much. Do you remember when you were a Presidential aspirant and there were rumours over your dodgy health. Do you remember how we were pacified? Olusegun that potbellied Egba warrior put you on loudspeaker at a rally and asked “Umaru they say you are dead. Are you dead?” You remember how your reply that you still dey kampe shut the doubting Thomases once and for all. Maryam Babangida did the same on radio when there were rumours about her death. That BBC interview does not cut it, it is even rumoured that was staged. Talk to a Nigerian media outlet on camera and I would believe you. The facts given to us do not add up. Did you know that there was a joke on who will return to the country first? The Super Chickens or you, Uncle Umaru? Guess what, they returned before you. You left us more than 70 days ago and we are still waiting for you to grace us with your presence. 5 minutes on camera would do. You created emphasis on being a servant leader when you became President but the fact that you could not tell us this ‘sensitive’ piece of information suggests that you have little if any trust in us? So much for being a Servant-Leader. Aunty Dora, that madam who tried to con the world into believing the greatness of our people and nation has had no choice but to go against the tide and denounce your decision not to handover power to Goodluck. Remember that she is your Minster of Information. This action speaks a lot as it is very obvious that Aunty Dora is sick and tired of keeping up this facade of nothing being wrong with you. It also signifies her frustration at losing the goodwill she gained from us from her time at NAFDAC. As you read this letter no matter the condition you are in it is my hope and desire that you will heed my advice and do the right thing. We will respect you for it.

For All Nigerians,


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